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How to Save a Marriage - Foundational Principles

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The statistics on marriage are depressing.
Half of all marriages end in divorce and half of those that don't are unhappy and unproductive.
With stats like this you might wonder how you can even ask how can I save my marriage.
If you are worried about your marriage and want to make it better and even save your marriage then you are better off than two thirds of the population! Contemplating filing for divorce should not be your first step when you get to this point.
There are many steps to saving your marriage that you should consider first.
Most of these steps require both partners to be fully committed to saving the relationship, but starting these steps alone can also begin the process of saving your marriage.
A first logical step is to consider counseling.
When both partners are asking can this marriage be saved or how can I save my relationship, counseling can provide an objective third party to offer advice and counsel.
It is best for both partners to go.
If you partner isn't yet committed to saving your marriage then by all means start off alone.
Avoiding divorce and strengthening a marriage can begin by one partner if both are not willing to work together for a common goal.
Counseling is the first step to avoiding divorce and saving your marriage.
The next step, which can be done on your own, is to recognize that the perfect marriage is a myth.
All marriages, even the happiest come with ups and downs and take a lot of work by both spouses.
When two people come together, they bring to the relationship all of their own issues, good and bad.
There are bound to be difficult times, and perhaps a few issues that could become deal breakers if not dealt with early on.
Even identical twins and lifelong friends can differ in likes and dislikes, values and beliefs.
For a marriage to succeed, couples must learn to deal with whatever life brings along.
Couples must be ready for the rough patches as well as the good times.
They have to commit to overcoming their problems.
This is the time to remember that perfection is an unrealistic goal.
You don't expect it from yourself and you shouldn't expect it from your partner.
Seeking perfection will only interfere with everything you are working on in saving your marriage.
Everyone makes mistakes, so work with your partner to overcome the problems you face and you will both realize it is possible to "save my marriage.
" The next logical are to focus on in saving your marriage are good communication skills.
The ability to communicate effectively with your spouse is vital.
When communication falls apart, your marriage can be on its way to trouble.
Begin with total and loving honesty with your partner.
Just about every issue and problem can be solved if good communication is maintained.
To make this work both partners have to be willing to accept compromise which can be difficult at times but is absolutely necessary for a successful marriage.
Finding that middle ground upon which a conclusion to the conflict can be built has to work for both parties before you can say to yourself that this can "save my marriage.
" Saving your marriage and making your marriage work depends on your collective ability to compromise.
If you could do one thing to answer your question of "how can I save my marriage", the ability to compromise is your answer.
All of the above steps illustrate your commitment to your marriage and to each other.
This is your next step in the long process of "saving my marriage".
Marriage is the ultimate lifetime day to day commitment.
This isn't disposable, marriage is not a Styrofoam cup or plastic container that you use and toss.
It is much more permanent and of higher quality.
There are certain things you don't abandon, and marriage should be one of them.
The only time to ponder ending your marriage is if you feel there is truly no hope.
Hopelessness is a dismal feeling and a terrible place to be.
Fortunately it takes a long time to get to this point.
The above steps can prevent you from ever feeling hopeless.
If you want to say "I saved my marriage" then commitment is your microphone.
The sad reality is that after all of the above steps, and in even the hardest working couples, some marriages will not work.
If the damage is too extensive and the hurt too deep then divorce can be a logical option.
If there is abuse and mistreatment that cannot be resolved it is the only option.
Divorce should always be your last option, and when you have repaired your relationship and are feeling happiness in your marriage then you can say yes I can save my marriage!
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